Wednesday, April 20, 2016

LIGHT MOMENTS: THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER

  • Oink Oink !
  • No you assume the position
  • Aren't you the guy from the village people
  • Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
  • Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?
  • Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
  • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
  • What do you mean I have been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
  • I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
  • Gee! officer your eyes look glazed have you been eating doughnuts lately?
  • Hey, can you give me another one of those fully body cavity search please?
  • Whoops, that's the fake one here you go this one.
  • Yes I saw your light's on, but I thought you were going to get a doughnut.
  • Come on write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes.
  • You're lucky this car needs tune-up or you'd never caught me.
  • If you tried the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight
  • What exactly is"legally drunk"?
  • So what's a good bribe go for around here?
  • Well, when I reached down to pick up my crack pipe, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged in the gas pedal forced me to speed out of control.

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